Friday, December 08, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
1. Christmas decorations like said lights. This is a time for people to share their personal decorating style with the general public. There are the minimalists with simple candles in windows, those with Blow up Reindeer and Frosty's , and those wholesome religious types (like myself until the age of 12) who choose to adorn their lawns with manger scenes including all the wise men, farm animals, and hay for authenticity. The way one chooses to decorate her lawn during the Holidays is like a window into the soul.
2. BAKING! I love baking, but during the general year often times feel pangs of guilt for such high fat, high sugar foods. Once Thanksgiving hits "It's a Holiday" becomes my ticket to baking and consuming whatever my little heart desires. Gingerbread houses, chocolate cherry cookies, cathedral ceilings, Pumpkin pies, you name it, I bake it.
3. My Santa Claus hat. I am a big hat person. What a fabulous excuse not to brush your hair! However, most times I can't pull off this look. However, who doesn't look good in a Santa hat?? NO ONE!!!! This acutally also applies to my red plaid apron and my technicolor red turtleneck sweater. Nothing says Christmas is here like said outfit.
4. Christmas Carols. I am a terrible singer. However, I love to sing. After working in retail during at least 2 Holiday seasons, I still can safely say I never get sick of Carols.
5. Christmas Postcards... I love these. What a great way to see pictures of growing families and people you rarely get to see! As well as a charming reminder of those you do!
6. The possibility of a white Christmas. Alright Floridians, I know this warm weather is comfortable for you... but you are really missing out! There is nothing better than waking up to the sound of silence and the smell of sizzling bacon, then you rollllll over and see nothing but white!!! I can't imagine waking up on Christmas morning and feeling hot. I can't wait for snow men, sleigh rides, and Fort building!!!!(This actually translates into a day filled with laying around, not showering, and possibly making cocoa).
7. Work Christmas Parties!!! I don't actually get one of these, but all my friends that work in offices have Work Christmas Parties!! I can't really imagine this other than to picture Bridget Jones singing on top of the piano, but I feel it would be fantastic!!!
8. Egg NOG! Egg Nog is actually quiete sickening. As a skim milk drinker, it is quite a leap into a whole new consistency, however like I previously mentioned "Its a Holiday!".
9. Rusty and Buttons- No one will know what I am talking about with the exception of one Caitlin Brady, but lets just say its a childhood favorite, quite a fabulous Christmas flick.
10. STOCKINGS!!! Thanks to my fabulous new Sister in Law- we now have jumbo personalized, hand knit stockings. Not only are they most adorable addition to our Fireplace EVER, they fit way more PRESENTS!!!!
Okay I love Christmas, its a fact, this will be one of many posts on the subject. But let me add that I love Chanukah as well. I really do. I love menorahs, the prayer, latkes... all of it. But alas, it is time for me to admit I am not a Jew... hence the Gentile focus.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Without further ado, the 12 steps you can take toward me not wanting to egg your house:
1. Do not tape that Volvo commercial with that alien child telling that incoherent story about a man with a tiny head and make me watch it over and over (this should be a freebie)
2. When we are at dinner please do not ever answer the phone (unless you are waiting for a call about your mother's condition in the hospital)
3. Do not whine (especially if it is to get me to do something like vacuum)
4. Unless you are my mother, my teacher, or boss do not tell me what to do unless I ask
5. Do not vanish into thin air without any sort of explanation
6. Do not tell me something that you think I want to hear, say what you mean and MEAN it (this also should be a freebie, but apparently it is quite difficult)
7. Don't ever be rude to a restaurant server unless she is rude to you first (this actually applies to anyone in the service industry)
8. Do stop to admire at least a few pets and babies during your day to day life
9. Do offer to carry something for a little frail lady
10. Do exchange kind words with a few strangers per day
11. Do offer to get everyone in the room a beverage when you rise to get one for yourself
12. Do return phone calls, e-mails, and messages in a prompt manner, if I am reaching out to you it means I miss you and want to hear from you
I hate you. You robbed me of two perfectly good hours of my life during which I could have enjoyed any number of other films that would have been more carefully crafted than yours or at least most likely would not have made me want to hang myself from the movie projector. Did you not attend grammar school? During these glorious years I acquired many skills, one of which was how to formulate ideas. You see ideas (or thoughts) are generally things that you think of that are new and innovative. Generally you will think of one and then say aloud to your friend or neighbor "I have an idea". At this point you will share this idea and it will elicit a response such as "Oh good idea" or "I don't like that idea". Never when you have an alleged "idea" should someone, such as the audience at Babel when informed the movie was based off the idea of some overpaid birdbrain in Hollywood, say, "What was the idea?" That means there was in fact no idea at all. Another concept covered in grammar school was the "idea" that in order to write a story there are a few guidelines one must follow. The first is that there should be a beginning, middle, and end to the story. If a story has a particularly poignant, yet abstract idea, perhaps this structure can be forgone, however as previously mentioned, for Babel this was not the case. There may have been a feeble attempt at an idea, but it was clouded over with absolutely asinine scenes filled with nude Asian preteens, make out sessions over bedpans, and a pre-pubescent Moroccan boy spying on his naked sister. I am fairly certain the point/idea that this movie was inspired by is the fear and misconceptions that most Americans have in terms of different cultures. I know you were trying to show how the media misconstrues events. I know you tried to humanize the issues of terrorism and immigration. But honey, you failed. I am no filmmaker, but I can tell you that this movie was so horrifyingly bad that as a die-hard liberal you couldn't even convince me. Babel you were so awful I would almost consider becoming a Republican because of you. I hope you are happy.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
1. Yesterday I was driving in my fabulous Honda rocking out to some jamming tunes. AKA a sentimental mix made during college since this is all I listen to these days. Anyway so I am rocking out/ weeping when I turn my head to see yet another F ing Hummer taking up the three lanes to my right. Oh god, not another one I thought to myself but continued to jam. Then I noted their license plate and saw that it was a "Save our Reefs" license plate. This is the part that irked me. " Alright A hole, lets all get on that. Lets all put on some dive gear and rush off to save our reefs. How about instead of you paying $50 bucks for a license plate you stop driving around a vehicle thats bigger than my entire apartment, polluting my air, sucking up all of the gas in the world, and obstructing my view on the highway??? "(Side note I have nothing against the reefs, they are fabulous... and even though I harbor an inexplicable fear of the sea, I have nothing but the utmost respect for its inhabitants).
2. So my life is not so fascinating, I have a few days a week where it is wonderful and sunny and one of my few joys is to go and sit out by the pool and try to catch some rays (hey a girl can dream can't she?) This past Sunday I am doing just that. It is 9:30, full sun, pretty much 500% humidity and I am relaxing on my chaise. The birds are chirping, I am sipping some cafe, life couldn't be better. Thats when the little terrors arrive. A group of three boys that proceed to spend the next hour playing "Lets pretend to drown each other while screaming bloody murder". Boys will be boys I suppose, but what gets me is their absent mother. She is sitting there with some aging gentleman discussing how kids have no boundries blah blah and how you can profile bad kids, etc. Come on!!!! Stop talking about the nation's children and judging a book by its cover, when your own A Hole children are running around pretending to kill each other. Okay I judge that your bratty kids are cold blooded murders with no discipline! NEXT!
3. Designing Women. Seriously. Why is this show on Nick at Nite? This is really completely ruining my daily routine. Every night I would watch a couple of Roseanne episodes to soothe my nerves before bedtime. Its almost like a valium for me, it calms me... zones me out, makes me happy. Now every night I turn on my tube and what is one, but DESIGNING WOMEN!!!! Someone help me!!!! Get this program off tv, doesn't everyone realize why this show hasn't been on any channel for 10 years.... Its because it SUCKS! And it is way too emotional. I have already cried twice because of a traumatic scene dealing with AIDS and another about an abandoned child. I commend the program for tackling such important issues, especially the first time around, but I don't need this kind of emotional drama. MORE ROSEANNE, LESS DESIGNING WOMEN.
4. This actually makes me happy. Three cheers for Panera Bread. I am usually not a sucker for any sort of chain other than my Dunkin Donuts, but this one is fabulous for one sole purpose. Free Wi-Fi!!! No more lonely days at home, I have an office!!! And it has free iced tea! Now I just need to see if they will make my copies and send my faxes....
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Pictured above is the tragic event I endured just yesterday. After 24 hours of healing I am now ready to blog it out and share with the world (Hi Mom!) my pain. This is what happened. The above left photo features my one and only grow your own rubber ducky. This little trinket magically grows up to 600% of its original size in just 72 hours! How wonderful I thought to myself I shall keep close tabs on his progress and keep a photo journal of his growth. (Side note, the grime featured in my sink is not by any fault of mine but the previous owner of my apartment who has allowed the place to slowly evolve into the decrepid heap in which I now reside) But I digress.. Delighted with Ducky's growth after 12 hours I decided to feed him fresh water. After refilling his growth sink with some clean hot water I went to continue my gruelling work day. At approximately 5 pm I went to check on Ducky's progress only to find him in the alarming state pictured above right! I was horrified, why would the big man upstairs take away my only friend in the world???? MY beloved Ducky! After my anger subsided I was disheartened to realize that I could not even grow my own rubber ducky. All I had to do was add water and let it sit for 72 hours. It is so sad to see something you have formed a bond with disintegrate into a tub of water like that. I mean look at his little innocent eyes and baby beak, nobody deserves that. I have a palm tree and I am frightened it too will not make it much longer...fortunately it rains every day so I think it gets watered by itself. I have taken a photograph which I consider to be a metaphor of my pain and confusion over this event. It will be featured in an above post, because it is getting very confusing to add these photos without another one dissapearing...
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Children, this post is not for the thin skinned...the problems have outgrown the pastels. I have toned down the apartment with slipcovers and my edgy and progressive artwork. I did however breakdown and purchase a palm tree today with visions of a Christmas card featuring me in a Santa hat in front of it in my head. Anyhow, I have masked the Golden Girl-esqueness of my bachelorette pad as much as humanly possible. Now that I have worked my magic on my home office I have started to explore my new home town. And low and behold I have discovered a few "issues" that I have, which will be listed below.
1. People from the South claim Florida is not the South, although its as far down as you can go... I was rudely alerted to this fact while innocently ordering a sweet tea in Charleston and mentioned I had recently moved. In my mind all this means is that we get the hicks without the Southern charm.... how pleasant for Northerners. If I am going to move my butt down here from Connecticut I think I deserve a little door holding, a few "Ladies firsts", and some friendly banter.
2. The DMV or RMV as it is known elswhere in the country and most likely world is labeled here as"Drivers Licenses" and at my "Drivers Licenses" hut the sign is painted onto a piece of corrugated carboard.
3. The govener that slated to win this year's election is endorsed by the NRA... this fact apparently accounts for a large portion of his popularity with the people.
4. Everyone says that there is a slower lifestyle here and I am forced to ponder why this is a positive. Is it so we can enjoy the 200% humidity even longer?
5. 71 year olds apparently go to the same bars as 20 somethings. Not charming Mr. Rogers types that are hard of hearing and attend potlucks... you don't even want to know.
6. There are no laws stating you can't carry a concealed weapon, drive a motorcylcle sans helmet, talk on a cell phone while driving, or smoke in a bar...but there is a law making it clear you cannot have an alligator on your property.
7. I have yet to find a homosexual or an asian, this limits my friend pool quite dramatically. This also limits my dining options. There are actually restaurants here called "Thai Sushi"... this frightens me.
8. I have yet to find a hippie. I have heard there is such a breed as a beach bum, which is quite similar, however there is narry a beach bum nor hippie in sight. This means that the only "farmer's market" in sight is actually a government high rise.
So there you have it folks, all of my friends have apparently been shot by the govenor. I am hungry, hot, and without fresh produce. This photograph that I was fortunate enough to capture while driving (hey no law is stopping me) says it all. Not surprisingly people can smell my Northern roots a mile away and I get the old " You aren't from around here are you?" line frequently. Well y'all, lets face it, I am most definitely not from around these here parts and so far thats alright with me.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
For the past few days I have been journeying throughout a land I like to call Florida. As you know this is to be my new home in a few short, but activity filled weeks. While in this wondrous place I was able to find myself a home and learn a bit about the area. I must admit at first I was a bit nervous about the move with visions of alligator nibbles and Bridge nights taunting me through many a sleepless night. Mullets and pastels nauseated me during each morning meal. Sun poisoning and monsoons gave me goosebumps and ulcers. But after four days in my new home town I can assure you I will be a-okay. After many a fact seeking mission my partner in crime and I counted at least 3 people under the age of 30, this is a good start! And if they are ever for some reason unavailable to socialize, BINGO is being played at any given point during any given day. This is excellent because not only am I am excellent BINGO player, I also have been known to be a superb BINGO number caller. So either way I am set for life. And in terms of the whole tack factor, it turns out Floridians actually have quite a keen sense of style so I will feel right at home. I was fortunate enough to find a furnished apartment under my budget that is move- in ready. For those unfamiliar with the term, this means I basically can pack a duffle bag and I am good to go! Forget furniture buying, painting, or decorating, this baby ready. Luckily I was able to take a few pictures so I can share my bliss with all of my faithful readers.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Sunday, April 30, 2006
1. My computer crashed, thats why there are no new posts
2. I don't have any plans for next year, so don't ask
3. I don't want plans for next year, unless they include not graduating
4. I like to eat food so spicy that I have to pass out on the couch before going back for more
5. I get hot flashes, not conducive to the spicy food addiction, I am often very hot
6. I love Semi Homemade on the foodnetwork and often times wish I could make tablescapes as beautiful as Sandree Lee... I especially like the Easter one with bunny lollipops
7. When I get scared walking home alone at night I often play in my head what the Unsolved Mysteries guy would say about me. i.e. "Marissa was walking home alone one night after a strenuous library work shift...and she was never seen again."
8. Everytime I drive past a car with a George Bush sticker I have to get a good look inside the car...just to see what they look like...
9. I always pretend like I am in a movie and I constantly play a soundtrack as I walk places
10. I love the taste of the Eucharist (sorry if you are offended by this, get over it I am appreciating the lord jesus in my own way)
11. If you ever say something bad about my friends or family I will kill you, I know I have successfully tricked maybe 2 people into thinking I am nice, I am not.
12. When I was little I wanted to be a bathroom designer, not truly sure why
13. My ultimate life goal is to raise Jewish children, (perhaps the ultimate Catholic rebellion) I have already started saving for their bar/bat mitzvahs.
14. The only food I don't like is pickled herring
15. My other ultimate life goal is to be a Jewish Grandmother... I want to play with the little tots without raising them. And I want to spoil them with too much kugel.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
I love babies. I love them so much that no matter what type of mood I am in, they always make me happy. I could be plummeting into an abyss thinking my life is over and if I happen to look up and see a baby, this feeling immediately melts away. I love all babies, girl babies, boy babies, black babies, Asian babies, all kinds of babies. I especially love fat babies, the fatter the better. I love their little rolls, their rosy cheeks, and their fuzzy hair. I love when they cry, I love when they laugh, and I love when they sleep. I love baby puppies, kittens, all babies. I love babies, I love life, I love my family with all my heart. I think that every time a baby is born, it is a miracle from God. I think it is truly a beautiful thing. As much as I believe this with all of my heart, I don't believe that all babies should be born. I am truly saddened by
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
To alleviate any confusion that may have been caused, here is a post that I had up originally and then chose to erase based on the fact that it was slightly belligerent and typo ridden. It was inspired by a brief research project on the Heritage Foundation, a conservative Think Tank, based in
I am white. I am from an extremely affluent section of
So it may be extremely easy for me to say that all it takes is hard work for someone to get to the top, but the truth of the matter is this is simply not true. Poor people do not have equal access to good health care, education, or training. People that are less than poor do not have equal access to safe housing, nutritious food, or public funding that may help them get back on their feet. Once one reaches the bottom, it is virtually impossible to get back up. The fact is this we should not be providing flat taxes in order to preserve the sickening wealth possessed by a small minority of those living in the US, but we should be focusing on increasing public assistance to help get people at a level where they have a fighting chance to sustain themselves. Furthermore, I think we all need to be a little bit careful when reading, seeing, or hearing anything, because it is more than likely the researcher quoted is funded by the people they are claiming to support. And more than too many people trust the media as an accurate source for non biased news, so my friends, I would highly suggest we all suck it up, be a bit more skeptical and stop trying step on the little people in order to get to the top.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Monday, February 06, 2006
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Saturday, January 21, 2006
In case you do not feel the need to read this particular tale, let me fill you in. It describes the friendship that is forged when a little hamster is fed to a snake at the zoo. Instead of eating the hamster, the snake befriends it. Now they spend all day together in the snake cage, talking, napping, and sometimes frollicking. I am basically in love with this story. I wonder what the snake was thinking when he rejected his fuel in order to form a friendship with his sustenance. Isn't it a basic survival instinct to keep your body running? Instead he ignored logic and did something highly emotional, he made a friend. Sometimes people claim that animals have no emotion or feeling, which at times I may be inclined to believe. That is why this story is so great. Our little snake ignored all that was expected of him and defied the laws of the jungle, he befriended his prey. This story basically warmed my heart, it made me want to make a new friend, even if it just may be hamster.
Monday, January 16, 2006
For those interested, my brother and future sister in law have changed the address of their website to the following: http://mysite.verizon.net/vzenw0la/wedding/index.html
In even more exciting news (maybe to me), at this very moment, there is a bridesmaid's dress sitting in my closet!!! It is featured on the upper left corner of this post.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Recently I was reminiscing about a time when I met a person who never listened to music. I remember it well. She said " I don't listen to music. It distracts me, I never had tv and I've never purchased a cd." I remember looking at her in horror, as did the other member of our conversation. He replied that he never was without music, carrying a portable digitial music device when walking, listening to cds in the car, and immediately turning on a stereo when entering his room. At the time I enjoyed a slightly altered version of this routine. We were both disgusted that a person would claim to dislike music. We quized her only to find out she truly had no knowledge of pop culture, nor any well known classics that any music listener would posess. At this point I began to feel a strong sense of sadness. I wonder where my life would be if I had no music. As a youngster music provided me a way to feel connected to those older than me. I remember the New Kid's On the Block buttons my sister owned and how cool I thought they were and I remember the feeling of sheer joy I experienced when I was allowed to attend a concert with her (and my dad...poor dad). Music allowed a sense of celebration, Christmas was never Christmas without the Raffi record on the record player and then later without my favorite Willy Nelson on the tape dec. And in harder times music provided a sense of sanctuary. I never truly connected with music until I discovered the Beatles in the 6th grade. Its no secret that at this point in my life I was basically a giant, new at school, and enormously socially awkward. Prior to now I was used to being the class genius, but after moving to a town of child prodigies, that indentity was already taken. I felt pretty much like a freakshow. But just as I was about to sign up for the circus I discovered Abbey Road. I remember the day well, it was after yet another horrifying day at Bedford Middle School ( I swear I am homeschooling my children so that they are not exposed to other Middle school Children... maybe they can do 5th grade, but that is it! ) I remember glancing at my father's record player and then shuffling over. Looking at all the records was fun, they were so big and mysterious, they seemed to hold so much history. As "Come Together" began I was hooked. I had never experienced that feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me I was listening to something great. I am not a religious person, never had I felt something as powerful as this in all my sundays in Mass, but it almost seemed a higher spirit was telling me "Heyyy kid, everything is going to be fine". Music is therapeutic, it helps those that are lonely and confused, it can be used to help people recover from physical ailments. Music allows for some to form a whole identity based on a specific genre. I for one was never willing to sign over the whole of who I am to music, but I do understand its amazing power. The feeling when hearing a song or perhaps a whole album, first of sheer intrigue, then bliss, then the insane jealousy that I myself did not create it, and the then the incredible contentment that I can listen to it on repeat for at least a week. Music makes everything better. Commuting was made bearable this summer by the addition of an ipod. A walk through midtown is no longer hectic for me, but soothing as I listen to Itzhak Perlman or Mozart. A party is no party without blasting tunes. Nothing says "aww remember that night at x location" like the song you were listening to at the time. I wonder where the music-less lost soul is that spurred my meditation on the topic. I hope she was inspired by our reaction to her situation to perhaps purchase a few tunes, maybe just turn on the radio once or twice. But hopefully in some form music has entered her life because I truly cannot imagine a life silenced by the lack of music.