My so-called senile life.

On a recent Friday night as I was folding my laundry I went to tune into my nightly episode of Frasier on the Hallmark channel and was dismayed to discover said channel, was “out of order”. In a fit of rage I grabbed my phone to call Time Warner, when it dawned on me that I was spending my Friday night folding laundry and watching Frasier. Or not watching as the case may be. Then I further realized I am actually a 98-year-old woman trapped in a 28-year-old body and I began to hyperventilate. But then decided to write this top 10 list explaining my elderly nature.

1. I love lace.
2. I also love aprons.
3. Teapots are also a favorite.
4. My affinity for Frasier is equivalent to my love of Golden Girls. 
5. I can’t stay awake past 11:30 on most nights.
6. I often find myself referring to kids these days, not in a bad way, but in an “I’m completely clueless about what’s cool way.”
7. I am deaf enough that I am constantly shouting, but also get mildly offended by how loud music is in restaurants.
8. Every day I grow a little more comfortable with the idea of multiple cats.
9. I have an unnatural love for BINGO.
10. I can’t remember the last item on the list.

So that it’s I am getting BJ a brother and a Life Alert ASAP. If you need me I’ll be finding a way to crochet seashells onto doilies. OR alternatively amping up my street cred with tats and aggressive nail art, I am undecided. I’ll keep you abreast of the situation.