Fat Cat.

Prior to the procurement of my cat I determined that I would not become one of those “crazy cat ladies”. Most people don’t like cats. In fact I would tend to think that most people would agree that having a cat is not cool or sexy in the slightest and I feared that by getting a cat, it was most likely resigning to the fact that I would be alone for all eternity. Instead of deciding against the feline, I opted to be the new vision of cat owners. I would be the cool cat lady.

I planned never to post pictures of him online, or buy him novelty toys, or talk about him incessantly. Instead he would be a chic accessory to my newly acquired studio. He would be the clever sidekick in my newest chapter of life. He would be coyly aloof or fun and spunky, but never lame. Of course if I had closely examined the patterns of my personality or been even remotely realistic, I would have known immediately that none of this would be possible at all.

It was inevitable that I would become the most over the top cat owner in the history of time; buying him costumes for every national holiday, photographing, and videoing him incessantly. He is on Youtube, Facebook and the subject of numerous chain e-mails. I am that chick in bars that pulls out cell phone pics and shares them in their entirety with strangers (if that girl exists other than me, which is improbable). It was in one such instance that I recently discovered my baby is fat.

A new colleague had fallen prey to a barrage of photo sharing in the office last week when he commented on my little angel’s size. It was the third comment that week that indicated little Beauty Jr. might be slightly overweight. At first I denied this possibility with the explanation that he is perfect in every way. After my initial refusal, another colleague and I decided to do some side-by-side comparisons of his photos over time. That motivated me to call the vet and get a professional opinion. The jury is back and my cat is fat. 6 months with Mama Brady and my poor cat is obese. Poor little guy. Our diet ensues.